How to calm your nervous system: five body-based ways that really work.

You're lying in bed, your body is tired, but something keeps running. Your jaw is tight, your breath sits high in your chest, your thoughts keep jumping. That isn't a character trait or a weakness. It's a state of your autonomic nervous system – and states can change.

Not through willpower, though. The autonomic nervous system is called that because it can't be controlled directly. It responds to what the body reports back to it: breath, muscle tension, posture, gaze. That is exactly where you start.

Signs of an overactivated nervous system

• You find it hard to settle, even when there's really nothing to do.
• Your jaw, shoulders or belly are constantly tense.
• Your breathing is shallow and sits high in your chest.
• You struggle to fall asleep, or you wake in the night and are instantly wide awake.
• Small triggers – a noise, a message – set off a disproportionate reaction.

That's normal if it passes. If it becomes a permanent state, the body learns to treat tension as normal. Our topic page on the nervous system explains exactly how this works.

Five ways that work through the body

1. Breathe out for longer than you breathe in

The best-known and most thoroughly researched way. According to a meta-analysis (Laborde et al., 2022), slow breathing – around six breaths per minute – increases vagally mediated heart rate variability, a sign that the calming branch of the nervous system is gaining more influence. In practice: in for four seconds, out for six to eight.

2. Give your weight away

Lie down and notice which parts of you touch the floor. Many people keep holding themselves up even when lying down. When you consciously let your weight go into the floor, muscle tension drops – and with it the alarm signal to the brain.

3. Widen your gaze

Under stress, our gaze narrows and we focus. Let your eyes soften and take in what lies at the edges of your field of vision, without moving your head. It's no miracle cure, but for many people it's a quick way out of the tunnel.

4. Humming

A quiet, long hum lengthens the out-breath all by itself. On top of that comes the vibration in your chest and throat, which many people find pleasantly calming. To be honest about it: what's well researched is mainly the longer exhalation behind it, less so the humming itself.

5. Slow, small movement

Fast movement activates. Slow, attentive movement does the opposite: it draws your attention inwards, lowers muscle tension and slows your breathing. That is the core of the Feldenkrais Method – and the reason many people feel calmer after a class without having "practised relaxing".

The lesson: the knee pendulum – 5 minutes

This lesson works well in the evening before sleep. If you're lying awake at night, you can also do it in bed.

How quickly does it work – and for how long?

Slow breathing and calm movement often have an effect in the moment itself. The change only becomes lasting through repetition, though. The nervous system doesn't learn safety from a single moment, but from many. A few minutes a day achieve more than one long session a week.